• Next

My Life

→

4

4 notes | 11 months ago

0

11 months ago

0

11 months ago

0

11 months ago

0

11 months ago

I Love my Scars & Cuts

I love to run my hands/fingers over my scars and new cuts. They help keep me sane and they make me happy. They remind me of my escape. How i can fly away to a place covered in red blissful peace. Also I love to watch my blood flow out of my skin then drip down my body. It distracts me from everything cruel the world throws at me.

3 notes | 11 months ago

Oh. WOW. 1 year mark. Molestation

I just now realized. Its the one year mark of me being molested.I had forgotten about it over the weekend. Wow. Well i’m glad i haven’t freaked out. Go me. I think i can get over this. :-)

11 months ago

Bulimia My life before/after

Before Bulimia:

I could eat anything i wanted as much as i wanted with out any pain at all.

My life with Bulimia: 

I have to watch what i eat, how much i eat, and most of the time if i even just eat i feel pain. 

But please don’t feel sorry for me, its my punishment for doing this to my body but i just want to inform people of how much it affects your life.

It will ALWAYS be on your mind. You dread birthdays or special occasions because there will more food. Even yummier food then normal and people will expect you to eat more. Then you can’t go purge it up because there’s a lot more people. Plus at school. You skip a meal. You skip two, then three, then more and you then get questions from your friends “Hey, why haven’t you eating anything lately?” Then your forced to eat to look normal then you have to go purge it in the bathroom and then you have to be extra special careful to not get caught.

Now before you start. Think of you sticking your head near the school toilets and forcing yourself to puke. In the SCHOOL TOILETS. Also imagine the humiliation you would feel if you got caught. By a teacher or a student. Please just think of these things before you start.

11 months ago

Cheated

last night. For the first night in a Really Long time i cried myself to sleep.

My boyfriend cheated on me. No wait scratch that. My fiance cheated on me.

I cried for an hour straight yesterday. At least.

I hate my life and i want to die. I cut again yesterday.

I’m still talking to him. Were still together. But only cause i cant seem to let him go. It would be more painful then trying to get over this would be.

And the things is. I’m hurting myself more then necessary just so he gets hurt less. It’s killing him that he did that. He doesn’t know what happened and i believe him. I don’t want him to hurt so i’m hurting more just so he can hurt less and i dont know anyone to talk to about it. 

I almost cried in school today multiple times because it hurt that bad still. Every time i think about it i want to cry. 

I have never hated myself and wanted to die more then this moment.

11 months ago

Addiction (Cutting)

babygirl-lifestruggles:

In the past 5 days, if you don’t count today past four consecutive days, i have cut myself over 120 times. I’ve realized a lot in the past three days. I’m addicted to cutting. I lost the glass i had been cutting with and i couldn’t find it. I then got nervous and was freaking out i then got up and…

1 note | 1 year ago